What’s Up? Wednesday
2017: Volume 01
Time is limited. Don’t waste it living someone else´s life.
Last year I started working on personal development again after a long time away from it. That and the fact that my 7 year anniversary last week, it’s not surprising that the topic of marriage would be on my brain. It’s funny how even when you aren’t looking for it a subject might pop in front of your eyes more after a major milestone in your life.
But what do I mean about Time is limited. Don’t waste it living someone else´s life.?
Time is limited.
It’s no secret that in life time is the only thing we really have absolutely no control over. You can take care of yourself, eat right and exercise, but sometimes even the most fit of people can suddenly are are taken down by a big D word (Death).
In this regard it seems too that in relationships time is limited as well. Even if you are the most evolved of individuals the D word (Divorce) can come and wipe out a relationship.
I’m not trying to depress you, really I’m not.
Actually knowing all the things that can destroy what you have going really makes it easier on how to defend against both of the D words.
Going along with my quest to work on #quality this year all I can suggest is to make time a priority and treat it like something that might disappear, from day one of your marriage until long past 3,214.13135 days (8.8 years) into your marriage.
“There are going to be days when you’re undone, stressed out, tired spent. And I’ll still love you just as much in those moments as I ever have, maybe even a little more, because it’ll mean you let me get close enough to know the real you. That’s all I want.” ― Leo Christopher
Don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
It’s amazing how people’s expectations change the moment that you become married:
- People think that the moment you get married you should all of a sudden you should have it all figured out.
- Expectations on how you should act as a married person definitely put pressure on even the most even keeled person.
- Somehow you’re supposed to know as much as a couple married years longer than your marriage.
My advice? Don’t waste your time living someone else’s life.
Consider your relationship for what it is. Even if you’ve known each other for years, marriage is a new dynamic. You have to figure out what works for you. Don’t completely abandon your own expectations for married life. Having a picture of what you and our spouse should be like is not harmful. Don’t try to base what you and your spouse are seeing in your journey together against anyone else’s journey.
- 10 Year Marriage Contract – Have you heard of this? It’s like signing a lease for a relationship! You agree to 10 years and I guess resign the lease on your relationship? I guess it means you’ll have a relationship longer than the national average, but still, it makes it seem more like a business transaction than love.
- Divorce in US Plunges to 35 year low – The title of this seems encouraging, but we mustn’t forget that there are some relationships that are long term, but not technical marriages. This may skew the data for the divorce rate being low. Personally I know at least five couples who have divorced in the last few years so if I have “average” friends then wouldn’t this mean that the average should be high?
- The Age Of Adaline [DVD + Digital] – This movie is all about time and relationships, the supposed theme of this week. It’s funny how when you’ve been thinking about a subject sometimes you make choice to watch a movie you might not have chosen if you weren’t thinking of it in the first place. I really loved this movie. I love Bake Lively in other movies and the way she depicted Adaline was great!
After miraculously remaining 29 years old for almost eight decades, Adaline Bowman (Blake Lively) has lived a solitary existence, never allowing herself to get close to anyone who might reveal her secret. But a chance encounter with charismatic philanthropist Ellis Jones (Michiel Huisman) reignites her passion for life and romance. When a weekend with his parents (Harrison Ford and Kathy Baker) threatens to uncover the truth, Adaline makes a decision that will change her life forever.
358: Expectation Hangover: Free Yourself from Your Past, Change Your Present & Get What You Really Want by Christine Hassler – I’ve love pretty much every episode of Optimal Living Daily. This one was so great that I shared it with Hubby. I don’t expect most guys to be very cerebral when it comes to personal development, but he actually called me to tell me that he listened to it at work. He joked about it, of course, but I think it’s a message that everyone can benefit from. Expectations are a life killer, like I said above. If you can get past them it’s a really HUGE freeing moment.