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Help! I Think I’m About To Have A Mid-Life Crisis
I turn 40 tomorrow and part of me is panicking and part of me doesn’t care. The part of me that is panicking wonders if I’m having a mid-life Crisis! This made me start to explore exactly what a mid-life crisis is and why people my age might be having one.
If you haven’t seen one of my previous posts, What’s Up? Wednesday is a weekly series of posts highlighting either:
- blog posts or news that I’ve read this week
- something that I’ve watched on Netflix or “regular” TV
- a podcast worth checking out.
Volume 007: Mid-Life Crisis or Mid-Life Quest for Identity
What is a mid-life crisis?
A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle aged individuals. It is a psychological and behavioral observation that commonly occurs with individuals between the ages 45-65. – Wikipedia
I don’t meet that 45-65 age group so it made me wonder what is going on with me. These feelings as I transition to 40 brought me to What a Female Mid-Life Crisis Looks Like. They make a great statement that talks about: …women have not faced a crisis, but they are facing a mid-life quest for identity.
My Mid-Life Quest for Identity
Truthfully, I think that’s what’s going on with me. Right now I see myself as being three different parts of one person.
It’s this me part of my life that I’m really starting to explore now that I’ve got a lot of wife experience under my belt and I’ve gotten my little ones out of diapers and have changed more into guidance counselor for them rather than caretaker.
When I read 7 Signs You Might Be Facing A Midlife Crisis there were more than a few of the seven ones they listed that caught my eye. The big one was “Is this all there is?”.
The Real Roots of Midlife Crisis talks about the U-curve and the author’s favorite writer, the late Donald Richie says:
“Midlife crisis begins sometime in your 40s, when you look at your life and think, Is this all? And it ends about 10 years later, when you look at your life again and think, Actually, this is pretty good.”
I think everyone has that moment when they get to a point and wonder what’s next and I guess that somehow that at my age everyone jumps on the “mid-life crisis” description. I’m hoping that his favorite writer is right and that in a few years I’ll look back on this and laugh.
To focus this restless energy, What A Female Mid-Life Crisis Looks Like poses some questions that women at my age should consider so I’ve taken a moment to consider them:
What do I feel I should have done by this time in my life?
Up until college, I always had a career in mind of being a teacher. Strangely though, I never focused much on what that really would look like. When my career path changed it should have been a freeing moment, but for me it left me feeling even more like I was floating. My life always had been controlled by my father’s attachment to the Army. When we retired my parents wishes for me to go to college took hold. It was a great experience. Being able to have a college experience. That freedom also was a burden. Their attitude really was “we don’t care what you do, just go to college and major in something”. I’m sure some people would kill for that experience. I’ve argued before in past posts, having these kinds of open choices is just as confusing and hard to deal with as having a path that you can’t deviate from. I never really had to make a HARD decision and decide my true path and now that I’m attached to a husband and kids, my life still is on this path that relies on other people to steer it. Now as my kids become more independent and my parents have reached retirement age I’m having this crisis of, what do I do now?
Is there something more important and fulfilling that I can focus on now?
Yes. There is. But what is that? I started thinking about having a teaching career, which I think I’d love to do, but at the same time part of this decision still is counting on the fact that I have to be around to take care of my children…still not a full sail type of decision. My engine is still my children’s (and husband).
What do I want more of in my life? What have I imprisoned that is crying to be free?
Connection. I know that sounds so funny since I’ve just talked about having my life being connected to a lot of other people. Really I feel like I need a connection to another person in my same position. I know a lot of other moms, but none of them seem to be in the same position as me. I have friends with kids and jobs and women without kids with jobs, but really I’m feeling disconnected from most of them because all of our situations are so different.
How can I ensure my commitment to living a significant life?
I’ve already picked out some things to do in 2017 to try to give my life a little bit more meaning and I’m hoping that my blog will connect me with someone out there who is in the same spot in their life as me.
What’s Up? with your Wednesday? Comment and let me know!